One of the biggest problem too many families have is that daddy and mommy are not on the same side. Mommy may tell their son to go to bed by 9:00 pm. However, daddy will tell their son that he can watch a movie as long as he is quite and mommy does not find out about it. This may seem like not a big deal but it is. When parents are not on the same side their son will know which parent to go to when he wants something. He will also learn to lie and learn to be sneaky instead of honest. The reason that spouses may choose to not be on the same side is because they might be lazy or may not know how to inforce rules. When children are little it could be over little things such as one parent wants their child to throw away gum before bed while the other gives gum just so their child stops crying. However, when children get older the consequences for disobedience will get larger. Also, this causes the child to think that their mommy or daddy does not know what she or he is talking about and that she or he should not be taken serious. Over time the child will lose respect for both the parents because he experienced this type of manipulation in his parent’s relationship.
However, when parents choose to be on the same side the child will respect both the parents and will believe that this is the way it should be. They will understand that when one parent says something that daddy or mommy mean business. The child will not need to lie or be sneaky. He can be honest. He also will know that if mommy said no about something then daddy will as well. The endless cycle of seeing what mommy will say compared to what daddy would say would stop. Your child will not need to tell their daddy what mommy said in order to get his mommy to give a new answer. This will only lead to arguments between mommy and daddy. This is very unhealthy for the marriage as well as for the child to see.
What to do to be on the same side…
· Agree with your spouse always in front of your child even if you may not agree. When your child in not around talk to your spouse on what you may think about his/her way of handling the situation. If your spouse agreed that he or she did not handle the situation correctly then he/she can go and apologize, take away the punishment, or explain the consequences to what would happen if their child would do it again.
It may be hard to be on the same page as your spouse but it is harder and more harmful to be on another page from your spouse. Can you imagine how your child would feel if mommy read from chapter 4 while at the same time daddy read from chapter 1. This only would confuse the child and the child would choose to listen to the parent who was reading the chapter that the child enjoyed better. Children are our responsibility to train and raise in the way that they should go. God promises us that when they get older that they will not depart from it. Lets teach our children to honor their fathers and their mothers. Lets teach them to be honest. Lets teach them what is best for them. Lets choose to be on our spouses side because we are raising a feature husband or wife.